The Good, the Burnt, and the Ugly

Guilty pleasure

Guilty pleasure in a dish with a side of beer!

We all have restaurants that we visited throughout our adolescence that we’d probably never go to now unless there were no other options around. I decided to relive the past and go to one of these establishments by my doctor’s office after an appointment because I needed  a quick meal before a business meeting. As I entered, I immediately felt tempted to eat something greasy–despite my desire to keep a pretty health diet!

The vacant hostess stand caused me to chase after someone to get a booth. Once settled, I gingerly opened up the menu to pick a semi-healthy entrée. The pages stuck together from greasy dried food, which was gross—but who am I to judge someone enjoying their meal so much they spilled crumbs while looking for more food to eat!

After not seeing too many enticing veggie options, I thought, f-it, I’m ordering fish and chips. My made-to-order meal arrived with two pieces cooked perfectly and the third burnt; luckily I only wanted two. As I was finishing up, the hostess, who was in her sixties, approached to ask how I enjoyed my meal. “You didn’t finish!” she said.

“The other piece was overcooked.”

“Why didn’t you say something?” she asked like a worried grandmother.

“I only wanted two pieces anyway,” I replied quickly and looked for the waitress to ask for my bill.

After I paid the check, I went into the bathroom. Stall #1’s commode had a brown surprise inside; stall #2 had a used folded up feminine pad, so thankfully #3 was clear or I would have just held my business until later…

When I walked out of the bathroom, a waitress was entering. I paused and advised, “Two of the stalls have major issues! Someone needs to clean them.” She looked unfazed and mumbled, “Okay.”

Never again. I was never stepping foot in this place again. While putting on my jacket by the front door of the restaurant, the hostess grabbed me and exclaimed, “You are so skinny and health conscious, that’s good! So many people come in here and complain to me–they say, “why are there so many fat people in here?” I got surgery to flatten my tummy. I wanted to know what it was like to have one before I died!’

She seemed a bit dramatic, but I understood what she meant so I replied, “Well good for you! This was a splurge to come here. I just had a second baby. so I am trying to get my body back!”

It was a pleasure speaking to the hostess (and my waitress was also nice), but everything else put a bad taste in my mouth. My quick and dirty meal became a bit too literal in the end!

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