Interviewing Mrs. Doubthire

Motherhood dilemma #54 (yes, there really are that many): It won’t be easy finding a suitable babysitter for Ella when Chris and I need help. Aside from the fact that a mother will always think no one can do as good a job as she can, surprisingly there are a lot of weirdos in the baby care business! And so we learned…

I was annoyed when the would-be sitter left a message saying she was arriving an hour earlier than we planned, but I let it go. The middle-aged candidate whose day job is full-time nanny had a lot of great energy upon arrival; I was starting to feel positive about this one.

Everything was going well until I asked, “What do you like about taking care of children?”

She responded, “I love bonding with them! When you spend so much time with them you really feel like you are raising them. My husband says I get too attached, but I can’t help it!” Then she made the Psycho “Err! Err! Err!” noise while cutting the air with a pretend knife in her hand for an uncomfortably long period of time!

“Oh, okay. . .” I replied quietly, and then looked at Chris. He had a blank stare on his face so I couldn’t tell if he was also a little alarmed.

After a few more questions I asked Mrs. Doubthire, “Would you like to hold her?” I always ask this to see how they interact with an infant. As soon as she took Ella things got weirder.

“Awww. . . you’re so cute!” Mrs. Doubthire cooed while holding Ella. “I’m going to take you home with me! I’m going to put you in my purse and take you home! Yes I am . . . Do you want to sleep at my house?” She repeated these lines over and OVER again.

It’s normally hard for me to let others hold my baby, but in this case I was becoming HORRIFIED. What the hell was she thinking saying that out loud to new parents?!

After we walked Mrs. Doubthire out, she yelled from the front steps, “I hope you’ll use me!”

Not only did she express interest in kidnapping my child, she said HOW she would do it. Her purse was the perfect size for sneaking off with little 2-month-olds–so, no way will I use you Mrs. Doubthire. BUT, if Ella becomes a handful in her “terrible twos,” it’s good to know I will have someone to take her off my hands!

5 responses to “Interviewing Mrs. Doubthire

  1. O M goodness, honestly Nubia I thought you were starting a career in short stories, albeit of the horror genre!
    I can only but begin to imagine how you felt!
    2 months old, where has that time gone?!
    Happy days, happy week!

  2. OMG I couldn't help but laugh. Err! Err! Err! Slashing imaginary knife in air…
    Look, I never had a babysitter and I had trouble leaving my baby girl even with family – but I would have kick that woman out the door the minute she did the “slasher” thing.. LOL

  3. Pingback: Road Trip to Old Town: Baby-loving Strangers and a Hip Hotel | Encounters with Strangers: Travel, Life, Laughter·

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